So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
