I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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