I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
