This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
