no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
