I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
