i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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