I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
