bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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