Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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