she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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