I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
