Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
