Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm passing your future prison.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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