you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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