How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
