turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
