I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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