Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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