May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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