I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
did you just send me my own nude
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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