i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
