he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
so much tequila, so little girl.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
