Define "chronic" masturbator.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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