just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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