I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
