I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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