I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
