Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
