i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
