i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
