no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
