I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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