she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
