Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
