This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
my phone needs a breathalizer
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
