dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
