Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I think pants incapable of making pants work
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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