Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
