how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
