didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize