i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
