Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
