Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
