this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
