Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
