nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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