I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I met the friendliest cop last night
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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