Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
