that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
