He asked me if I "almost moaned"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
